Beyond The Lust Of Happiness

 

My mom always used to say 'I am the most beautiful person she ever knew'.  

I was in first standard when people make me realized for the first time beauty is not what I am. Such a young, innocent and joyful child but still failed to satisfy the standard of beauty set by the society. A child of 5years of age been discriminated on what he looks like. I went to my mother and cried and ask - Mother you said I am 'beautiful'. She smiled and corrected me 'Most beautiful person she knows' and I smiled back. That day she wanted me to know It's love that make things look beautiful.

She was a divorcee. My father left us when I was 10years old. My mother was very beautiful everyone used to say. She meet with an accident and her legs got paralysed, and she also she got unaccountable scars on her body, especially on her face. My father left us and got married to another 'very beautiful' lady. My mother smiled that- I could read her eyes. Beauty is something which is temporary like every other thing, the personality you hold stays with you forever, be wise when you choose to be with someone. And always remember A loss is never a loss if it educates you before you make another loss. Before her accident, everyone used to remind her how beautiful she is, today it was me who said 'you are the most beautiful person I know'. 

In my 12th standard I found love of my life, Radhika. She was beautiful according to the standards set by the society but unfortunately she was blind. She could not see but could only hear, and she loves what I say, she used to say. After some years of investment, and with the help of retinal implant she got her eyes sight back. I was the last thing she wanted to see. Your looks are the last thing that matters to me, she said. When you start looking at peoples heart instead of their face, life becomes clear.  

She gave birth to our beautiful daughter, Ananya. Ananya was 2years old when my mother passed away. I was silent and suddenly she broke the silence and said- One thing that is planned in this world is your death. It has to happen one day. And this is how things work and should work, what are you crying for? Your mother lived a long and healthy life, isn't this the reason enough to celebrate. Before dying, she taught me the last lesson - Understand that you own nothing, only the love in your heart lasts forever.

Ananya was 10years old when we become bankrupt, it was the time of recession. I start getting suicidal thoughts and I decided to discuss this with Radhika. She looked into my eyes and said- Happy people build their inner world, unhappy people blame the outer world. I smiled back that day I realized one should never forget who was there for him when no else was. Ananya hugged us.

Ananya was representing her school at intentional level. I got late that day, what I could grab was - A young, very beautiful lady with so much kindness in her words that no one could ever thought of, saying - There are four very important words in life-  Love, Honesty, Truth and Respect. Without these in your life you have nothing. I wonder how this beautiful young lady able to see what most can't understand in their entire life. They laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at them because they are all the same, She said. Today she knew the true meaning of life. She was not happy today, neither she was in some sorrow. She was just a life, beyond the lust of happiness and beyond the sorrow ness of this world. STAY STRONG. Make them wonder how you are still smiling, she ended.